Please excuse me while I seem like a total bitch and only recognize one of my kids in this post... sorry Shia, but honestly, you make things so hard sometimes it makes me feel like getting out rather than going on. I still love you to pieces though!!! Kisses baby girl.
Okay, one person who makes my life worth living is Gavin. Though he has his normal little kid moments where he is a jerk, most of the time he is my little angel baby. I can just look at his face and it makes me smile. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time while stroking the side of my cheek, or my hair. He tries to make me smile by doing goofy dance moves or faces when I seem upset. He climbs up and cuddles with me randomly and tells me he loves me.
All that in addition to the fact that I feel an internal connection to him that I had never felt before he was born. Obviously Shia is my child as well, but there is some kind of pull between Gavin and me. Like when he's gone, part of me is gone. Livable when I'm at work, but for long periods of time, like days, I don't know how I would deal with it. I honestly might cry when he starts school even though with Shia I was like, "Love you kid! See ya later!" I'll be hard to see off my little Boo.
I live to make sure that I raise this little boy to be one of the good guys. I never want my son to ever hurt a girl the way I've been hurt. And as he is right now, I don't think he ever would hurt anyone. He is big and strong, but he is also gentle and friendly. He's going to be the perfect man someday. And I better get a HUGE thank you. haha
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